River Constantine

Carry me, Your love is wider than my need could ever be
Come to me, and I will walk along the shoreline
Where Your crashing waves sing in time with the pounding of my heart

Come down, pour out on me
Come down, pour out on me

River deep, could I know You as well as You know me
Constantine, we will travel faster, farther than these
Legs could ever trustworthy be

Come down, pour out on me
Come down, pour out on me

Carry me

by Jars of Clay

I've loved this song since my freshman year of college, but it's meaning resonates deeply within my heart now more than ever. When I became pregnant with Hannah, I sang this song every day. With so much on my mind -- the gamut of worries, fears, gladness and gratefulness -- God gave me a song that reminded me that He is my peace. Even now in my new home, I sing this song over Hannah on night's that she has trouble falling asleep. And in the dark as I sing my child to sleep, I see how my Heavenly Father holds me even still.

A Comedy of Errors

“Am I on Candid Camera?”

“Seriously, is someone messing with me?”

Those phrases have been rolling around in my head all day. Seriously, nothing has happened as it should. For every step forward I'd take, I’d then take three giant steps backward. I’ve majorly misspoken, been chewed out, driven all over this town, paid more money than I wanted (though not as much as I could’ve) on my car and on tickets, sweat through my silk shirt (yes, I’m that gross), made less than a dent in the mountain of work I’ve got on my plate… and the list goes on. I swear. I can’t get it together today.

Then, in the middle of it all, I got a wake up call.

I was sitting in line waiting to pay my ticket - having the biggest pity party you’ve ever seen - when this lady walked in and sat next to me. She strikes up a conversation and ends up spilling her guts that her 92-year-old mother had a stroke this morning, her own health care coverage was dropped today because of her own issues, she was having some demolition done at her house that she wasn’t able to oversee because she needed to be in town with her mom, her ticket was due to be paid today, and to top things off, it was her birthday.

So at this point, I realize my day wasn’t so bad after all. In fact, I had one of those moments looking into that poor woman’s eyes where I remembered that God is in control, even when times are unbearable. I’ve seen Him work in mighty ways, and He has personally blessed me richly that I might share His comfort and joy with others. So I asked her for her name. It’s Theresa. I told her that I would be praying for her and her family because God is strong enough to take on our biggest struggles. She thanked me and we parted ways.

I don’t know what your day has been like, but I’m really sorry if you haven’t enjoyed it. I haven’t enjoyed mine much either. But I encourage you to hold on to the good because that’s where you’ll find God.

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit’s fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. - 1 Thessalonians 5:15-21

Lastly, I also want to ask you to pray for Theresa and her family. She’s having a rough time, and my hope is that her life will change when she sees how much God cares for her.

Listen Up, Thief!

I hate theft. My brand new iPhone 3GS was stolen last month along with pictures and other important personal items. Yeah, I know. Totally not cool.

Let me just say that if you're reading this and you stole my phone, it makes me wonder if you needed it for the money to feed your poor, hungry family because this down economy has left you without a job or something unfortunate like that. I really hope it helped. But if you didn't need it for the money and you're enjoying my iPhone all the while singing, "Finders keepers, losers weepers..." I still hope the best for you. I wasn't quite thinking that at first. In fact, I hoped every time you looked at the phone you would be struck with horrible guilt and maybe a disgusting bout of bowel issues.

But no more. It's taken me a month to forgive you, but here I am. I'm choosing to move on with my life because being mad about a phone isn't worth it. And though you may not be aware of it, I think perhaps you could use some forgiveness in your life just as I have. But let me also say that as a daughter of the King, it is my joy to forgive:

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3: 12-14

What's Next for the Freemans?

Can I just say that I love that you follow my blog? Seriously, I do!

I consider myself blessed to go through each step of life with you readers. You’ve celebrated with us at each milestone - such as our marriage, new jobs and the birth of our daughter, Hannah - and been there for us with everything in between. And it is with great excitement that we announce life’s next step for our family as we sense God pointing us in a whole new direction.

After laboring in prayer over a few years and ministering to college students at our home church in Tyler, we realize our calling to be missionaries within the United States. Specifically, God has led us to Fort Collins, Colorado, where we have been called to start a church and build a community of faith with other young adults and their families. In fact, our goal is to move there before school starts next year.

We have the beginnings of a team in place that includes our best friends, David and Laura Sutton and their little boy, Josiah. David will serve as the pastor. And Chris will serve as the worship leader/associate pastor. There are so many other details I could share about this new journey for us, but I’m honestly afraid I’d bog you down in the nitty-gritty. So if you want more details, just ask. It’s just such an exciting time for us!

I want you to partner with us in prayer as we follow God's lead. We've never started a church from scratch! Not to mention it's hard to move across the country, especially when we’re moving away from other close family and friends. Also, pray for the folks in Fort Collins. We’ve truly fallen in love with this community and long to share what matters most to us, and that’s the love of Christ.

You can keep up with our progress in a number of ways. Obviously, I'll post some updates here. But you can follow us on Twitter, become a fan of our Facebook page or check out our blog -- all of which you can visit from our website, iheartfortcollins.com.

Whew! I'm so glad to finally share that. Here's a picture Chris took from a recent trip to Fort Collins at Christmas. Beautiful, huh?

O Holy Night

I once heard Christmas described as war. It marks the day that our Savior entered the world through flesh to wreak havoc on the oppressor and rescue the oppressed. No other hymn better expresses this thought than my favorite, O Holy Night:

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of Our dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world In sin and error pining,

'Til He appear'd And the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope The weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks A new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born;

O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

Truly He taught us To love one another;

His law is love And His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break For the slave is our brother;

And in His name All oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy In grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us Praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,

His power and glory Evermore proclaim.

His power and glory Evermore proclaim.

My Calling in Life

I feel called to be the kind of wife and mom that loves and extends grace always. It’s my hope that I point my family to the person of Jesus by the way I live my life, so that they subsequently experience intimacy with God and enjoy a full life.

I feel called to be honest and real, never feigning goodness derived of my own efforts.

I am strongly compelled to show mercy to those who hurt and long for peace despite the extent of their depravity. I refuse to believe that anyone is “too far gone”, and I will gladly introduce anyone to a just and merciful God who believes likewise.

I am passionate about equipping people with tools to help them become debt-free. The seemingly everlasting shroud of debt looming over the Freeman household (written with every ounce of drama I can muster) is beginning to lift, and I want others to experience the sensation of freedom we are beginning to enjoy.

I long to see the Church revived, and I feel called to be a part of developing the next generation of leaders, beginning with college students.

I am particularly passionate about guiding college-aged women in making decisions for their independent adult lives.

Professionally, I feel called to do the best I can possibly do no matter the task.

I feel called to submit every aspect of my life to God. About ten years ago, I declared myself His servant. I’ll go wherever He calls me to whatever He wants me to do.

An Unfortunate, Eventful Weekend

While you can be prepared for emergencies, you can never really plan for them. However, you would have thought we had planned for a car accident on Saturday the way everything worked out as we were in a four car pile up in Dallas. Everyone is safe and sound, with only me experiencing a bit of whiplash and bruising. But considering that my family is perfectly OK, I can't complain one bit. In fact, I can't overcome this sense of shock as I consider all of the coulda-shoulda-woulda's and seeing God's hand in it all. It could've been really bad, but I'm just thankful that He desires for me, Chris and Hannah to live our lives before Him on earth right now.

I truly believe that God goes before us and comes behind us, forging our paths and protecting us from all sides. Just this last week we had decided to take Sunday off and go to Dallas since Chris was not needed to lead the praise band. Chris and I made all of the arrangements to go, including getting a substitute for my Sunday school class. We had decided to take Chris' dad's truck since my Jeep could not carry the furniture we were buying, and Chris' truck did not have climate control. It was even nice to know that Jim had his brakes checked this past week, too. While Chris initially put Hannah's car seat behind the passenger seat, leaving me practically sitting on top of the dashboard, we decided moments before we left to move her to the middle seat to give me more leg room and to ensure that her seat was as level as it could be. We packed up warm clothes, and being the overly-prepared new mom that I can be sometimes, I went ahead and packed up a day's worth of meals for Hannah, though we planned to be back early afternoon. That obviously didn't happen.

I'm so thankful that we were not in the Jeep as I'm sure my car probably wouldn't have fared as well as Jim's big Chevy truck. And I'm sure I wouldn't have felt so great had I been any closer to the dashboard than I was. I'm also grateful that David and Laura were in town, along with their parents, to help pick us up from the scene of the accident and get us home! It was also nice that our Sunday morning responsibilities were taken care of that we could take it easy the following day.

We're not sure what insurance is going to do or what's going to happen with Jim's truck. But for now, all we can do is praise God we're all OK.

The Mom, The Babe & The Tree

I was unloading Hannah from the car this evening when I noticed her eyes fixated on something behind me: it was a newly planted baby tree that was blowing in the fall wind. I unbuckled her from her seat and walked over to the tree where she actually started laughing every time a gust of cool wind would hit her in the face, all the while she was grabbing at the swaying thin branches. It actually made me think of a poem I stumbled across today:

Trees
by Alfred Joyce Kilmer

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

I love to watch the delight on my child's face as she enjoys something for the first time. Sometimes I'm just too busy to notice and enjoy the simple things in life. But I find when I do slow down just for a bit, I find the worries of my day fade in comparison to how blessed I truly am.

God is so good to me. His faithfulness humbles me. And His greatness is displayed in even the simplest of things.

She's Here

Hannah Riley Freeman was born Sunday, April 5 at 9:38 p.m. weighing in at 7 pounds 9 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. She's a beautiful little girl with such a sweet demeanor, and most importantly she's healthy. Chris and I can't praise God enough for how blessed we are.

Now seven days old, Hannah is adjusting to life in the Freeman household. Actually its more like the Freemans are rearranging their lives to having a newborn! We're getting the hang of all the feedings, dirty diapers and sleep times. Of course, the best part is the awake time - our Hannah is such a snuggler.

One thing I'm completely blown away by is God's love for us. Words can't describe the immense love I have for Hannah. And I realize that His love for His children is even greater than I can ever contain for my daughter.

As a side note, I'd like to mention that the baby bluebirds I last blogged about were born today. :)

We have a ton of pictures so far of our sweet baby cakes. We just have to load them all, so be patient - there are many more to come!

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

We have this empty clay pot on our back patio that I have intended to plant something in for years. I swear I’ll get around to it someday, but for now it just sits there. However, I’ve noticed lately that we’ve had two regular visitors on our back porch - two beautiful bluebirds - and they've made a home in my burgundy clay pot. I understand a thing or two about nesting these days and have been intrigued by our little bird neighbors. After a week of watching them, Chris and I walked out on the patio and discovered 4 blue eggs in their nest. It delights me to think our new neighbors are going to be new parents soon, too. :)

I have to admit, I think God has a little something to teach me through these bluebirds. Something you may not know about me is that I’m a worrier. When I’m uncertain about what’s to come, I tend to worry myself sick over every potential disaster. As you can imagine, I’ve had my moments in the past few months where I have worried over things ranging from childcare options to my capability of caring for a newborn. And while I may keep my worries to myself, they float around in my brain plaguing me at times! How’s that for honesty?

Well anyway, these bluebirds could’ve nested anywhere, but they chose our back patio. And as I’ve watched them, I’ve been reminded of something Jesus said and I’m comforted to know that essentially everything is going to be alright:

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

The Yokes On You

Simon Says. I don't know about you, but I was no champ when it came to playing Simon Says. After about five or six commands into the game, you would typically find me out on the sidelines. There were so many commands and twists. "Simon says, 'Sit down.' Simon says, 'Stand up.' Simon says, 'Sit down.' 'Stand up.'" Simon, I could never keep up with all you wanted me to do!

So today I write a little more about obeying commands. By the way, if there's one thing that you may not know about me is that I tend to be a bit nerdy (OK, a lot nerdy) and just eat up all of the historical facts of other societies, their politics and their culture. But particularly, the Jewish culture intrigues me most, though I wouldn't claim to be an expect about it. But here's something interesting that I have learned and think you'll appreciate, too (maybe).


Back in the B.C., ancient Jewish rabbis would pray through and pour over God's word, which at this time were the first five books of our Bible. He would then interpret what God was saying through the scriptures and then help the people understand it, as well. A rabbi's interpretation of the scriptures is called his yoke, which also included his insights into holy living. These insights were generally conveyed through lists of do's and don'ts. When the people decided to follow a rabbi - called taking up his yoke - it meant that they would dedicate their lives to following his teachings and obeying the rabbi's do's and don'ts.

Most people don't realize this, but the disciples looked to Jesus as their rabbi. They not only followed after Him, but they took up His yoke and committed their lives to trusting Him. Jesus made an incredible claim about his yoke. He said that it was easy. (I once confused this in my mind with an egg yolk and always envisioned bacon and eggs over easy. Don't be confused. It's totally not the same thing.)

What does that mean - that His yoke is easy?

The yoke of Jesus was simple: love God and love others. He said that He didn't come to do away with all of the laws, but to fulfill them. We don't have to carry the burden of upholding lists and lists of laws because it's all fulfilled when we love God and others. Think about it. When you love God, you won't sin against Him or His people. In fact, you love His people. You're compelled. You can't help it. You don't have to think about it. When you love His people, you won't hate or steal or cheat. Instead, you see people as He sees them and you'll want to be kind and generous to them.

Do you ever get tired of trying and failing to be a good person? As I discussed yesterday, there's nothing good in and of ourselves. For anyone who is tired or frustrated of trying to be a good person, this is for you. Give up. You'll only grow weary of all the trying. And love God. You'll find yourself acting differently and seeing others in a whole new light. You'll stop acting so much like yourself and acting more as Jesus would.

I leave you with this:

Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Not Tall Enough To Ride

Do you remember those signs at Six Flags or Disney (if you were lucky enough to go) that indicated how tall you had to be to ride a roller coaster? If you didn't measure up, you couldn't ride. Do you know that my Dad stretched every inch out of me and my sister? He was so ready to have roller coaster buddies that as soon as we were 36 inches, my little body was strapped into some of the biggest roller coasters in Texas. Of course, I was just as glad for the day I measured up, too.

Have you ever thought about how you measure up to God's standards? It took me a long time to realize that no matter how hard I tried, though I'm a Christian, I'll never live perfectly. You see, there's this standard of righteousness that you and I cannot live up to on our own accord. For example. Think about the Ten Commandments. This was the Law that God gave to show people how to live a holy life. Have you ever broken any of them? Well let's take a look at a few and see how we measure up.

God says don't murder.

Easy. You've never killed anyone! But wait, Jesus said that if you've ever hated anyone, it's as if you've murdered them.

God says you shouldn't commit adultery.

So you say, "I've never once cheated on my spouse," or "I'm not even married!" Jesus said that if you've ever once lusted after anyone, you've already committed adultery in your heart.

God says that you shouldn't steal.

You're no thief! Well, at least not with anything significant. But his commandment doesn't talk about how big the offense has to be before we've broken the law. Stealing is stealing.

So at this point, if you're like me, you're a thieving murdering cheater.

Romans 3:23 says that everyone has sinned and falls short of God's perfection. When I read this, I think DUH! There's nothing in my body or my mind that feels even remotely perfect. But then again I'm quite amazed - there are some seemingly perfect people out there and even they don't quite measure up.

So when we measure ourselves up against God's commandments - His Law - we realize that no one is perfect. No one measures up to God in and of themselves. But, here's the good news that has inspired me so much lately. When you become a Christian - meaning you allow God to rule over every part of your life - God sees us as He sees His Son: perfect.

For anyone who has ever felt like they just didn't amount to much or just couldn't measure up, this is for you.

Love!

Who Do I Think I Am

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ya12I036lg

Kinda cool, huh?

R.C. Sproul writes, "Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God."

I'm as guilty as the next person of becoming bogged down by the stresses of this world. I need reminders like this to wake up and realize there's more to this life than meets the eye. I hope you're as inspired as I am to more than merely walk through life, but to truly live, of which only comes through knowing God.

Free Rice

A friend reminded me of this cool site today. Check this out if you haven't already.

http://www.freerice.com/

I think we can all agree that there are people in the world less fortunate than we are. I don't know about you, but I've never truly starved. I've never gone without. In 2000, I spent two weeks in Santa Lucia, Guatemala teaching children English. To this day I'm still impacted. I saw children without proper access to medical care. I saw women sweep the dirt floors of their small metal huts. I smelled the raw waste of a village without proper sewage.

Although I've seen poverty with my own eyes, I tend to overlook it here in my own community at times... or most of the time. I don't realize if I head north from my office building and cross the railroad tracks, there are families who can't afford to manage their health. They can't afford the repairs or utilities on their homes. And their clothes are someone else's hand-me-downs.

If you think about it, there's no one else who loves us quite like ourselves. Really, think about it! If you're cold, you're grabbing a sweater. If you're thirsty, you're going to get a drink. If you cut your finger, where does it go? In your mouth! We take such wonderful care of ourselves without hesitation. And there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. Please do take care of yourself! This illustration just magnifies Jesus' command to love others as we love ourselves.

I care for myself so intuitively, yet I easily turn a blind eye to the folks across the railroad tracks. As I'm inspired to reach out and love on the people around me that are in need, I hope you'll be inspired, as well. There are great places to get involved in reaching out to your community. Find them! You can do so in many ways, whether physically or financially. You'll find that in doing so, you're utterly fulfilled.

Here are pictures from Chris' recent trip to Florianopolis, Brazil. While this may be one of the most wealthiest parts of the country, the village Chris' team ministered to is considered to be a 3rd world slum and is ignored by the people in surrounding cities. The scenario hits close to home for me. (The children there are beautiful! Chris tried to bring a few home.)

Glow-In-The-Dark Paint and Other Thoughts

Many of you know that Chris and I are in ministry. I thought you might like to see some of our college students. These girls are the handful that I spend time with every week. I think I learn more from them about God and life than I could possibly teach them.

One of the things we encourage in our students is to be real and honest with themselves, others and God, and these girls get it! When we're humble enough to be honest with ourselves, we no longer feel the need to hide behind facades. When we feel confident to be ourselves, we can be honest with others and experience strong, healthy relationships with the people around us. And when we're real with God about what we're thinking or how we're feeling, we experience an intimate relationship with the Lord.

If you ever get the chance, read any Psalm and you'll read how real King David was. Considered to be a man after God's own heart, David held nothing back as he asked big questions regarding his circumstances. He would make his despair known to God and unabashedly wonder aloud what the Lord's motive was. But at the end of every Psalm, David would recall how God had never failed him even in the darkest of times. His despair would turn into amazement of how good his Lord was. Being real with God, who knows exactly how we feel anyway, changed David's perspective on life and created a more intimate relationship between them.

During the school year, I meet with these girls once a week and we talk about life. I am priveleged to watch this awesome process work within them as they become real with themselves, others and God. Futhermore, they encourage it in me, as well.

I hope you're experiencing fulfilling and meaningful relationships. I believe it's the most important pursuit in life.

Love.
Randi

P.S. We all look like we're ready for war in this picture because we were playing glow-in-the-dark ultimate frisbee. We painted ourselves with glow-in-the-dark paint, wore the cool lighted necklaces and had one of the coolest nights playing Ultimate.